Gay Erotic Stories

Dear Doc: Last night, I proposed to the girl of my dreams (we’ve dated for over six months). She said “yes”, provided we do a “test drive” in the bedroom, as she need to know I could “perform.” That’s all fine and dandy, but I signed a pledge six years ago when I was eighteen that I would not engage in sexual relations until I was married (I do not even masturbate). What should I do? Signed, Under Contract

Dear Contract: Normally I would say you should honor your commitment, however with the passage of six years, it appears to me you need to move on. That said, I’m a bit concerned that your girl friend would put you in a situation which requires compromising your principles. I say, go for it … what could it hurt? Let me know, I care. PS: Are your balls blue by any chance?

Dear Doctor: The gym I go to recently sponsored free testicle and prostate screening for the guys. When I showed up for my appointment, the Doctor examined my genitals and then stuck his finger up my ass … for about 50 seconds (I popped a boner). Several of guys at the gym think the Doctor might be a pervert. Your opinion please, Signed, Muscle Bound

Dear Muscle: Yeah, I think so. A prostate exam should not take over 20 seconds, at most. Next time, go to your personal physician.

Dear Doctor: My husband and I have a routine during the week for sexual activity. Mondays and Thursdays, we have intercourse. Tuesdays and Fridays, I give him either a blow job or hand job. On Wednesdays, he fingers me. I’d like more variety in our sexual relations. Any suggestions would be appreciated? Signed, Bored

Dear Bored: You should be so bored. So, you take the week-ends off? Maybe you guys need a threesome to spice things up.

Dear Doctor: I’m a 24 year-old female who has had sexual relations with five different guys over the past several years. What is it about you guys that require me to suck you off prior to intercourse? I don’t mind doing it, but can’t you men get it up on your own? Signed, Curious

Dear Curious: Ha! Guess what honey? It’s what we do. Get over it and continue to suck.

Dear Doc: My roommate left last Thursday for a family emergency. On Friday, his girlfriend shows up on Friday (as usual). One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed. She told me I was “the best fuck she had ever had.” So what do I do if my roommate finds out? His girlfriend has already invited me to her apartment next Thursday. Signed, Roommate.

Dear Roommate: You sir, are in trouble, but I guess you know that. Suggest to the girlfriend that you have the threesome with your roommate. That way, she gets hers and he gets it too. Let me know. I care.

Dear Doctor: For whatever reason, I never developed pubic hair. So at the age of twenty-four, I remain hairless. I’ve been to several doctors, who haven’t a clue. It’s embarrassing, especially at the gym. What should I do? Signed, No Bush

Dear Bush: By now, you must have noticed at the gym that many young men shave their pubes. It is what it is; get over it pal.

Dear Doctor: Quite by accident, I discovered my grown son is gay. Should I confront him, or just let this alone. I love my son, but this is a disappointment. Signed, Dad Dear Dad: It is fairly uncommon these days for gay men to be in the closet. He’ll probably tell you when the time is right. Please respect his decision; you can’t do anything about it.

Dear Doctor: My girlfriend and I have an active sex life. But here’s the problem. After I ejaculate, I retain my erection for up to 30 minutes or more. There has even been an occasion when I cum again when taking a shower with my partner. Is the normal? Signed, Hard on

Dear Hard: I’m not sure, but it sounds a bit strange to me. I suggest you speak to your personal physician. Some guys should be so lucky!

Dear Doc: I took your suggestion and agreed to do a “test drive” with the girl I asked to marry me several weeks ago. Wow! We fucked until the cows came home … or so I thought. Once we had finished, she announced that I fell “short” of her expectations (I have a small penis). I would have been better off waiting until our wedding night for her to find out. Thanks much … asshole. Signed No Longer Under Contract

Dear Contract: Excuse me sir, but you’re better off without the bitch. Find someone that appreciates your (small) size.

Dear Doctor: After being divorced for three months, I have concluded that women are nothing but trouble. That said, I still have needs, if you get my drift. Are there women out there who want sexual “relations” without the “relationship” part? Help me please, as I have to get off soon! Signed, Needs a Fuck

Dear Fuck: Yeah, I know such women. They’re called prostitutes. And yeah, there are women who you describe … you just got to find them. Or try this: If you and your ex are still friends, call her up and suggest a roll in the hay. Maybe she needs the same thing you do. Let me know because I care.

Dear Doc: Yesterday I was in class and couldn’t take my eyes off a hot co-ed on the front row. Half way thru the class, I ejaculated in my pants … but I didn’t have an erection. Is this normal? Signed, Big Man on Campus

Dear Big: Well, it can happen, but I don’t see anything to be concerned about. How was that mess in your underwear?

Dear Doc: My wife cut me off about eight years ago, saying she no longer enjoyed sex (I don’t think she ever did). I stayed in the marriage for the sake of our kids, who are now in college. I’d like to now divorce my wife, but am not sure I have a good reason. Any suggestion would be appreciated. Signed, Had It

Dear Had: How ‘bout “alienation of affection?” That ought to work. Good luck Sir.

Dear Doctor: I’m a twenty-four married young professional, working in the financial services industry. I’ve been told I’m very good looking. During the day, I see many clients, mostly couples trying to get their financial house in order. Yesterday, a woman hit on me while her husband went to the restroom. As if the ring on my finger didn’t show. I was stunned, and didn’t really have a response. This is the third time this has happened. What’s a snappy response? Signed, Apparently Hot

Dear Hot: Oh, this is easy. Next time, say “I’d love to fuck you madam, so let’s check with your husband when he returns.” That ought to do it.

Dear Doctor: My husband of ten years is a wonderful father of our three children and a good provider. However, he is lacking in the romance department. When we do have sex, which isn’t often, he can last about three minutes before ejaculating. And then he rolls over and goes to sleep. I’ve tried to talk with him about this, but he ignores me. Please help! Signed, Wants More

Dear Wants: Send the kids to the grandparents and book a cruise where he will be a captive audience. Let me know if this works because I care.

Dear Doc: To help with college expenses, I do “gay for pay” porn. It’s no big deal to me, but my girlfriend nearly lost it when she found out (yeah, I told her). I only do safe sex and am tested monthly. The money is so good, I can’t give it up. What can I say to get her off my case, as this is only temporarily until I graduate? By the way, she and I have sex on a regular basis. Signed, Queer for a Dollar

Dear Queer: Don’t know why you told her in the first place, but it’s done. I see nothing wrong with this and applaud you for practicing safe sex. So what would she have you do to meet expenses? Work the night shift at some convenience store? Tell her to chill. So, how’s that asshole of yours doing these days?

Dear Doctor: I have it on rather good authority that my husband is having an affair with another man. It doesn’t surprise me, since we haven’t had sex in over a year. Should I confront him? I’d like nothing better than a divorce, as he is financially well off, of which I’d get fifty percent. Signed, Married to a Homo

Dear Married: Sure, I’d confront him. What’s he going to say? He probably wants out as well, but don’t be surprised that all of the sudden, you’re both “broke.”

Dear Doctor: I am a forty year old guy in good health. My wife bullied me into seeing a doctor for a check-up. About the time we got to the rectal exam, I refused to participate. There is no way I am going to allow a guy to stick his finger up my ass. The doctor concluded the examination and told me perhaps I’d best find another physician. Can he do that? He also billed me for the full amount. Signed, No Ass Play

Dear Ass: Yeah, he can do that. What is it about taking care of yourself that you don’t understand? Now bend over and spread those cheeks.

Dear Doc: I came home a day early from a business trip and caught my wife having sex with my neighbor. Of course I packed up my stuff and left the apartment. Now the neighbor has called me, apologized, and offered to let me fuck his wife to even the score (she’s hot). What do you think of this arrangement? Signed, Neighbor Guy

Dear Guy: I guess if all parties agree, it’s OK with me. This sounds somewhat weird in my book.

Hey Doc! Every Sunday morning, my roommate and I “manscape” each other, shaving our chests and pubes. Typically, we each get an erection and then jack off together. I’m wondering sir, if perhaps we might be queer? Signed, Smooth Chest

Dear Chest: I doubt it. But keep it at masturbation and you’ll be OK.

Dear Doctor: I was married last Saturday to a great guy. By mutual consent, we agreed not to have sex prior to our wedding night. The first time was somewhat awkward, and I was unable to satisfy my new husband. You see Doctor, he has a very large erect penis which frankly I can’t take. It’s very painful. Any suggestions? Signed, New Bride

Dear Bride: Short of seeing your personal physician for a consultation, I suggest your husband be on the bottom, whereby you can control the depth of penetration into your vagina while you’re on top.. Once you are satisfied (and he’s not), then you can finish him off with a hand job or oral sex. Let me know if this works because I care.

Dear Doc: My daughter met a young man at the university, who will be visiting us during the holidays. I suspect they have had sex, but of course don’t really know. What should my response be when they want to share the same bedroom during the visit. Her mother is about to freak. Signed, Dad

Dear Dad: Well first, you don’t know if the situation will even arise, so both you and your wife need to chill. Technically, it’s “your house, your rules.” They are probably having sex anyway, but if you don’t want to encourage it, then don’t.

Dear Doc: I am sleeping with two different women, both of whom do not know about the other. One is the best fuck on the planet, but not too bright. The other on is an average fuck, but very intelligent and a good conversationalist. I want to settle down in the next few years, but I’m left with the obvious question: Good fuck or brains. Your opinion please, and just so you know, the dumb one has a trust fund from Daddy. She is loaded! Signed, Perplexed . Dear Perplexed: I think this is easy. You can always make money overtime, and work with your partner to establish good sexual relations. But remember, you can’t fix stupid. Hope this helps!

Dear Doc: I’m six feet tall, one hundred ninety pounds, reasonably muscular, and somewhat good looking. My problem is the fact I have a very small penis (three inches erect), but I know how to use it. I’m embarrassed to go to the gym and shower in the locker room. The women I have slept with seem satisfied with my performance, but I’m still somewhat embarrassed. Signed, Small

Dear Small: First, if the women you sleep with are satisfied, then you have nothing to worry about. Regarding the locker room, please know that men are not interested whatsoever in the size of your penis; they are only concerned about the size of their own. Chill, my friend.

Dear Doc: Do you think the Pope masturbates? My fraternity brothers want to know. Signed, Brothers

Dear Brothers: You have asked the wrong question, which is, “Has the Pope EVER masturbated?” Probably, but haven’t you assholes have something better to do?

Dear Doctor: Last month, my older brother married a girl that I had sex with several years ago. Prior to the wedding, she and I agreed to take that secret to the grave with us. Last night, my now sister-in-law called me, saying we “need to get together.” The translation is that she wants to have sex with me. Seems my brother is a complete flop in the bedroom. And while I’m always looking for a good fuck, I’m not sure this is a good idea. What do you think? Signed, In-Law

Dear Law: You’ve got to be kidding. This is the worst Idea I’ve ever heard. Forget it pal … it is nothing but trouble.

Hey Doc: Last Sunday morning, my roommate came out of his bedroom, completely naked, with a piss hard on. He proceeded to pour himself a cup of coffee and then stood in front of the counter, boner and all, and engaged me in conversation. This went on for about fifteen minutes. It was embarrassing to say the least. Do you think he’s gay? Signed, Straight

Dear Straight: Probably not, but you might express your embarrassment to him. Did he have a big dick?

Dear Doctor: I’ve been dating a really nice guy for about two months now. Last night, he suggested we “cement” our relationship … in bed. I declined, noting that it was my intention to remain a virgin until marriage. He then asked whether I would be willing to give him a hand job. I said maybe, but frankly am not entirely sure what a hand job is. Can you help? Signed, Apparently Naïve

Dear Naïve: Here’s how this works. Your boyfriend lays naked on the bed. You bring his penis to full erection and masturbate him until he ejaculates. It’s really quite simple. Be careful however. When he starts to jerk uncontrollably, be prepared for one big sticky mess!

Dear Doc: When I went for my physical several days ago, my Doctor told me I had an “overactive prostrate”, and suggested prostrate massage. I agreed, but then he sent his physician assistant in, who proceeded with the procedure. How fucking embarrassing. Not only was I laid out naked on the exam table, in stirrups, but I popped a boner as well, AND ejaculated while the PA was doing his thing. I’m pissed! What should I do? Signed, Butthole

Dear Butthole: Well, did the therapy help? If so, chill my friend. Besides, didn’t it feel good?

Dear Doctor: I will be married next Saturday to an amazing woman. She has suggested, and I have agreed, to have sexual intercourse two hours before the wedding. I’m a bit uncomfortable with this, but am going to go through with it. Do you think anyone at the wedding will know I’ve busted a nut before the nuptials? Will I get a hard on during the ceremony? Signed, Groom

Dear Groom: Never had this one before, but hey! Go for it! And no, you won’t get a hard on during the ceremony, unless of course your bride rubs your crotch as you say “I do”. Good luck pal.

Dear Doc: My husband is a great lover; however he retains an erection for approximately forty minutes after he has ejaculated. Is this normal? I told him he needs to see a Doctor. Signed, Concerned

Dear Concerned: Probably. Some men should be so lucky.

Dear Doctor: My girl friend and I have finally agreed to have sex. She’s afraid she will bleed. Actually I am too. What should I do if she does? Signed, Screwing a Virgin

Dear Screw: Nothing. It will pass very quickly. Now, puncture that membrane and make her a woman!

Dear Doc: I remember swimming naked in high school PE class, but understand that no longer is the case. Frankly, it was fun as I recall. What happened? Signed, Swimmer

Dear Swimmer: Same old shit pal. Someone thought it was perverted. Who knew back then?

Dear Doctor: I have a large penis, which makes it difficult to buy pants that fit correctly without showing a bulge. I’ve tried underwear that would “hide” what I have, but nothing has worked thus far. Any suggestions, as I’m tired of looking like a freak. Signed, Large

Dear Large: OK, here’s what you do. Find a small tailor shop that specializes in men’s clothing. They can “fit you to size”, or they should be able to without any embarrassment. Believe me, they see this every day and can deal with it very effectively. Good Luck.

Dear Doctor: I have what I’ll call a minor ED problem. My doctor is sending me to get a ultrasound on my penis to evaluate the blood flow. He didn’t explain the process, and I’m a bit concerned how this all works. Do you know? Signed, Limp

Dear Limp: The Doctor will inject a solution into your penis, which will cause an erection. He will then do a ultra sound on your penis to evaluate the blood flow. Your erection may last an hour or longer, however the Doctor will not let you leave with an erection. A nurse will probably be present, however the Doctor should respect your privacy. Dear Doc: My Doctor sent to a dermatologist for a full body scan, looking (I guess) for moles from sun damage. When the nurse brought me to the exam room, she said she would be assisting the doctor, and that I should undress completely. She then left the room. When the Doctor arrived, he had the nurse with him, and preceded to exam me from head to toe (including penis, ball, and asshole). The nurse just stood there while the Doc did his thing. In the mean time, I popped a boner. It was really embarrassing. Was it really necessary to have the nurse present? Signed, Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed: It looks as if the nurse was not serving any function whatsoever. Next time, tell the Doctor that you’d appreciate a gown and to leave the nurse somewhere else.

Dear Doctor: I’m a young professional, working at a very conservative financial institution. Management expects their employees to participate in community affairs (which I do) and to be a good family person, including being married, having kids, and attending church. The problem is, I am a closet gay, although I am straight acting. My boss is on my ass about settling down. How do I respond? Signed, Closet

Dear Closet: Tell him you have dated numerous women, but all they want is sex. You however, are looking for a nice Christian woman, who is a virgin … like you.

Dear Doctor: My older brother is unable to father children, due to an abnormally low sperm count. He has asked me to “stand in” for him … that is, have sex with his wife (she’s hot) and get her pregnant (and I doubt if we’d score a baby on the first try). Needless to say, I’m a bit reluctant to do this, for a variety of reasons. Do you have an opinion of this Doc? Signed, Stand In.

Dear Stand: Well, this is indeed a new one. While I’m sure this has been done before, I believe there are some legal issues which the three of you should deal with. As an example, what if they get divorced, and she comes to YOU for child support? Or Medical bills? I suggest the three of you see an attorney.

Dear Doc: I play basketball with nine other guys every Saturday afternoon at the gym. After the game, we all hit the showers and then go to the bar for some adult beverages. I’m the only guy on the team who is uncircumcised. One of the guys, who is a urologist, pulled me aside at the bar and suggested that I “have that fixed”, referring of course to my uncut penis. I think he’s trying to drum up business. What’s a snappy response to this guy? Signed, Uncut and Not Going There

Dear Going: The good doctor should know that circumcised men are the minority in this world. While circumcision is practiced widely in the US, it is not common in Europe, Asia, Central and South America. Tell this dude that you prefer to remain with the majority of men on the planet. And why is the doctor looking at your dick in the shower anyway?

Hi Doc! Several weeks ago, I met this fantastic woman who I was very attracted to. I think the feeling was mutual. We’ve had about five dates, which have gone well. Yesterday, she asked if I would play on her beach volleyball team, as one of the regular guys was ill. I agreed. Then she told me they play at the “clothing optional” beach. I said OK, but now I’m having second thoughts. You see Doctor, I have a small dick and don’t want to embarrass myself. Your thought would be appreciated. Signed, Small

Dear Dick: Well, when in Rome pal … Don’t worry about it. If she dumps you because of your “size”, then she isn’t worth having to begin with. Now remove those trunks, OK?

Dear Doctor: I have a rather extensive “bush”, if you get my drift. My girl friend, who I am having sex with, has asked that I shave my pubic hair, as it occasionally gets in her teeth when she is give me a blow job. Personally, I like my bush. What should I do? Signed, Bushy

Dear Bushy: OK pal, here’s the story. Shave that mess off, or go without blow jobs. Which one will it be? I’d vote for the razor myself.

Dear Doc: I’m a drill instructor in the military. I caught two of my men masturbating in the latrine yesterday. I’ve already told them there would be punishment. What do you think it should be? Signed, Gunny Sergeant

Dear Gunny: Oh, this is easy. Put them both in the showers, turn on the cold water, and make they stand at attention for about an hour. Trust me, they won’t be jerk’in anytime soon.