Gay Erotic Stories

Dear Doc: Why can’t I piss and poop at the same time? Signed, Yellow & Brown

Dear Yellow & Brown: You’re an idiot. Next question please.

Dear Doctor: When I married my husband, I knew he was “small”, if you get my meaning. While I don’t have a lot of complaints in the bedroom, I would like to experience a “larger” man. It’s on my bucket list. Actually, there’s a guy at the office who I’m sure has a big one. Signed, Wants More

Dear Wants: I recommend you keep what you’ve got. Who knows, the guy at the office may be gay.

Dear Doctor: I caught my college age son masturbating in his bedroom. What do you think is a reasonable punishment? Signed, Dad

Dear Dad: Are you crazy? Just thank yourself that he’s not out screwing some coed and bringing home your first grandchild!

Dear Doctor: My forty year old husband has not seen a doctor since high school, and I have begged him to at least have a check-up. What should I do? Signed, Loving Wife Dear Wife: Make an appointment, drive him yourself to the doctor, and enjoy your time in the waiting room while he get’s checked out. Good luck.

Dear Doc: My younger brother confided in me that his wife had never given him a blow job. He wondered what it would be like … so I showed him. Now he thinks we might be queer. What do you think? Signed, Older Bro

Dear Bro: This is nothing more than brothers bonding. Forget it.

Dear Doctor: I submitted my paperwork for a promotion to Sergeant. The Captain said things would go a lot smoother if I would “service” him. What does he mean? Signed, Corporal

Dear Corporal: You must be rather naive. Drop to your knees, pull out his dick, and go from there. I hope you get the promotion.

Dear Doctor: I took your advice and tricked my husband into seeing a doctor for a check-up. He was furious! He told me the doctor inspected his penis and testicles, and then shoved his finger up his asshole. He’s not speaking to me. Thanks a lot, quack! Signed, Loving Wife, Not

Dear Wife: Examination of the genitals and rectum are essential for male health. Tell your husband to chill.

Dear Doctor: My wife has suggested that we have a threesome with, of all people, her former boyfriend. Her expectation (aside from being fucked by both of us) is to have me give the “ex” a blowjob, and then have me take it up the ass. What do you think of this arrangement? Signed, Reluctant

Dear Reluctant: I’d personally pass on this myself, but you’ll have to decide for yourself whether or not “it’s for you.” Good luck.

Dear Doc: My boyfriend broke up with me last week, and is now spreading gossip around campus that I’m “easy”. I want to retaliate, but not sure what to do. Please help! Signed, NOT Easy

Dear Easy: You might start with mentioning to several friends that your former boyfriend has a little dick. Believe me, that will piece of information will be all over campus by nightfall.

Dear Doctor: How do I tell if my new bride is a virgin on our wedding night? Signed, Curious

Dear Curious: If you slide in with no trouble, she’s not. If it takes you a while to penetrate, she is probably a virgin. A few drops of blood would seal the deal.

Dear Doc: Due to my stupidity, I will be reporting to prison next week. A friend said that I should expect to “have my plumbing rearranged.” What did he mean? Signed, Inmate

Dear Inmate: He meant that some burly guy is going to stick his dick straight up your ass. I hope this helps, Sir.

Dear Doctor: I will be married shortly and have a concern regarding my sexual performance on my wedding night. Any advice would be appreciated. And please hurry as the ceremony is ten days away. Signed, Groom

Dear Groom: Nothing comes more naturally that sexual intercourse. I’m sure you’ll do fine. You might solicit some advice from an older brother or your Dad. I’m sure they can help. Please let me know as I care.

Dear Doctor: My “bush” is rather thick and plentiful. My girl friend wants me to shave most of it, primarily because she has to pick pubic hair out of her teeth when she gives me head. I’m not real interested in doing this whatsoever. Is there another solution? Signed, Hairy

Dear Hairy: Not really. Give the poor girl a break and get rid of it. I do recommend you leave about one-half inch, which will preclude a rash which might develop.

Dear Doctor: I took your advice and asked my older brother about performance issues on my wedding night. He laughed so hard, I thought he might be having a seizure. I then went to my Dad, who told me that “we don’t talk about such things in this family.” Now what? Signed, Groom

Dear Groom: First, I think both your brother and Dad were insensitive to your request. That said, I would recommend that you spent a sufficient about of time with foreplay with your new bride, which will give you the confidence you need. This isn’t hard (no pun intended).

Dear Doc: I was fortunate to obtain a swimming scholarship from the State University. At orientation, the entire freshman were ushered into the locker room and told to strip naked by the coach, who proceeded to inspect us from head to toe. He then announced that the assistant coach would be removing all hair from our bodies, and directed us to “fall in”. So I ended up with a buzz cut and all body hair removed, including pubes. The apparent result of all this nonsense was to make us all swim at a faster pace, without “drag”. What do you make of this? Signed, Swimmer

Dear Swimmer: I think the coach is a pervert. Call you Dad.

Dear Doctor: I’m a 22 year-old male who has had a number of sexual relations with women. Last night, my roommate brought home what he thought was a straight porn film, which turned out to be two guys going at it … you know, sucking dick and taking it up the ass. Both my roommate and I got a bit horny and ended up in bed together (we were drunk). In any case, do you think we’re now gay? By the way, he sucked a mean cock. Signed, Straight

Dear Straight: I see nothing wrong with what you two did … it was simply a response to a porn movie as well as the booze. It happens all the time, so I would say chill. How’s that ass feeling today?

Dear Doc: My foreskin has a rather noticeable “nipple” on the tip of my penis, about the size of a small marble. My girlfriend hates it, but it doesn’t bother me at all. To please her, I am considering having surgery to remove the nipple, leaving the rest of the foreskin intact. What do you make of this? Signed, Uncut

Dear Uncut: Under NO circumstances should you have this done. The foreskin is the most sensitive of all skin … it will hurt like hell. If you insist, please see a urologist who can give you additional guidance. Assuming your girl friend has big tits, ask her how she’d feel about a breast reduction. I already know the answer.

Dear Doctor: When I was in the military, one of my best buddies and I occasionally jacked off together, gave each other head, and fucked each other in the ass. In the meantime, I’m married with a family. Out of the blue, my buddy calls and wants to visit with his family. I’m rather uncomfortable with this, knowing what we did in the service. Any advice would be appreciated. Signed, Veteran

Dear Vet: Your buddy might not even remember your little sexual encounters. Chill.

Dear Doc: My roommate and I are both twenty-five and straight. Occasionally however, we get naked, sit on the couch, watch a porn movie, and jack each other off. After the movie, we take a shower together. Do you think we’re queer? Signed, Wondering

Dear Wondering: No, I don’t think you guys are gay. But anything beyond mutual masturbation would probably qualify you as queer.

Hey Doc! My cousin and I share an apartment. Yesterday, he caught me masturbating myself, and told me I was doing it all wrong. He says the correct way is to jack the shaft and proceeded to demonstrate his method; I say it’s OK to bring your hand over the head of the penis. Who’s right? Signed, Jack’in Boy

Dear Jack’in: Does it really matter? However you choose to get off it none of anyone’s business. Tell your cousin to fuck off.

Dear Doctor: I’m a twenty four year old female who has had sexual intercourse with about five different men. My problem is that I simply love a man’s penis. I mean, I don’t want one of course, but I love to stroke it, suck it, fondle it, and (if you will), receive it. Do you think I’m weird? I mean, I can’t get enough of cock. Signed, Penis Envy Dear Envy: I would think any man would be grateful for your attention to his manhood. If he’s not, find another dick to suck. There are plenty of them out there, as I’m sure you know. Now start stroking!

Dear Doc: I’m a guy in my fifties, and have recently noticed that my erect penis curves noticeably to the right … like at a 30 degree angle. I don’t have any difficulty during sexual intercourse, but am wondering if this is normal given my age. Signed, 30 Degrees to the Right

Dear Right: I’m not sure this is normal. You should see a urologist, who will do an assessment of your erection to determine whether there are problems. Yeah, I know, you’ll have to pop a hard on in front of the doctor, but hey! He’s seen it before. Let me know how this turns out (or to the right, whichever). I care.

Dear Doctor: Out of the blue, my Doctor (who I’ve known for about 10 years) called to request that I participate in a study to evaluate the “male member”. Basically, I’d go to a clinic, where medical professionals would take measurements of my flaccid and erect penis, to compare to nationwide results. I’m forty years old and not sure my dick is up to snuff. What do you think (I get a $100 payment for my trouble)? Signed, Small but Proud

Dear Proud: Hey, go for it! There’s nothing to lose, and just maybe you’ll rank in the top ten percent of small dicks!

Dear Doctor: To help with college expenses, I did a naked photo shoot with a local photographer. He paid me well, and even gave me a portion of the proceeds from the on-line sale of my photographs. Now he has called me and wants to do a more “erotic” photo shoot, which I interpret as he wants me naked with an erection. What do you think of this arrangement? Signed, Naked Guy

Dear Naked: You seem to be comfortable in your own skin, so I say go for it. Anything beyond a full blown hard on is probably off limits.

Dear Doc: Two of my buddies from the office and I go to the gym at lunch to work out, after which we head to the locker room to shower and get cleaned up. Usually we horse around in the shower, washing each other’s back and soaping each other up. It’s good clean fun, if you will. Today however, one of the guys grabbed my junk (while the other one had left the shower) and told me that “we ought to get together.” Do you think this guy is gay? Signed, Straight

Dear Straight: Looks like it. Next time you’re in the shower with this dude, why don’t you grab his “junk” and say “no thanks.” That is, unless of course, you indeed want to “get together.”

Dear Doc: This coming Saturday night, my fellow pledges and I will be hazed at the fraternity. Word has it that we will be stripped naked, blindfolded, and required to suck the cocks of all the seniors. Obviously I am concerned, since I have no intention of giving anyone a blow job. How do I get out of this situation? Signed, Pledge

Dear Pledge: Hey pal, you don’t. Now get on your knees, open wide, and start sucking. It won’t hurt you and remember, everyone has done it before.

Dear Doctor: I’m curious where the term “hard on” came from. Signed, Constant Hard On

Dear Hard: Haven’t a clue, but let’s think about this. It’s “hard” and it’s “on”. Don’t you have something better to do than think this shit up?

Dear Doctor: I’m dating a really great guy. Last night, after a meal and movie, we were having a passion kiss in his car, when he took my hand and placed it on his crotch. He had an erection. I became so aroused that I unzipped his pants and give him a hand job, which was kind of messy. Do you think it would be inappropriate to ask him to have sex? He has a really big penis. Signed, Desperate for Sex

Dear Desperate: I don’t see why not. I mean, you’ve practically opened the door so I say go for it. Let me know how this turns out. I care.

Dear Doctor: My neighbor and I are really good friends. Both he and our wives socialize nearly every weekend. Recently, the wives went on a shopping trip to the west coast, leaving my friend and I behind. Well, long story short, we got drunk together and ended up naked in the pool … it’s a wonder we didn’t drown. Anyway, we ended up in bed and sucked each other off. The next day, we collectively decided this was a onetime event and that was it. I’m not so sure. Signed, Maybe Queer

Dear Queer. Forget it pal. But I wouldn’t make a habit of it. So, how was the blow job?

Dear Doctor: I met a really nice man several weeks ago. We have had two dates and we both have some things in common … except for the fact he is very religious, does not believe in pre-marital sex, does not kiss prior to marriage, and will not hold hands. If I can’t get this guy into bed in the next week or so, I do believe I will go nuts! Help me please! Signed, Needs It Now!

Dear Needs: This is easy. Tell “Jesus” that you have needs and you suspect he does as well. Offer to give him a hand job (I mean the guy surely masturbates occasionally), and see if he is receptive to that. Otherwise, corner him in your home and seduce him. I doubt he will resist.

Dear Doc: I have an extremely hairy body and am thinking of having a full body shave (armpits and scalp excluded). Are there people who do this type of work? I’m tired of looking like a gorilla. Signed, Chita

Dear Chita: Yes there are, usually at specialty barber shops (private rooms are used, as the customer has to be naked to accomplish the end results). I would warn you however, that shaving will only result in additionally growth. So this will become a monthly ritual. Just as a suggestion, if you have your bush shaved, keep about a quarter inch to prevent itching.

Dear Doctor: I am six feet tall, one hundred ninety pounds, and very muscular. My problem is the fact I have a very small flaccid uncircumcised penis; it’s about three inches at best. However, when my “buddy” wakes up, it’s 8 inches in length. I’ve had several sexual experiences, where women have initially rejected me until good old “buddy” appears, and then they can’t get enough of me. My problem is the fact I no longer go to the gym, as the embarrassment of my manhood is too much to bear. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Signed, Small but Big

Dear Small/Big: I’d be happy with what you have. Remember, it’s not the size, it’s how you perform. Fuck the people in the gym.

Dear Doctor: I have very little pubic hair, and would like to increase my ‘bush”. Is there a solution? Thanks. Signed, Hairless

Dear Hairless: I would suggest you shave your pubes every month or so, as that will promote growth. It will take several years, but eventually you will have a bush you can be proud of.

Dear Doctor: Prior to having intercourse with my husband, he insists that I give him oral sex to “get him up.” While I’m most happy to do this, at least three out of four times he “unloads” prior to me “getting mine.” Is there a solution? Signed, Starved for Sex

Dear Starved: I suggest that once you get him “up”, that you immediately put that pecker where it rightfully belongs. That is, don’t give him the chance to ejaculate before hand, and if you will, “get yours”. Let me know, I care.

Dear Doc: During a recent check-up, my doctor asked me why I had not been circumcised at birth. Not knowing for sure, I called my dad that evening and asked him. His response was that “he wanted me to look just like him.” I’m not sure that’s a good reason. Signed, Uncut

Dear Uncut: Well first, there’s nothing wrong with being uncircumcised. I think the explanation by your dad is somewhat weak, but does it make any difference? Now enjoy your foreskin.

Dear Doctor: Every Thursday afternoon, I play racket ball with my dad at the gym. After I beat his ass, we head to the locker room to get cleaned up in the communal shower. Frankly, I’m embarrassed taking a shower with my dad. It’s not that I’m shy, but it doesn’t seem quite right. And by the way, he has a very small pecker. Signed, Son Dear Son: Small pecker or not, enjoy your time with the guy who fathered you with that little guy.

Dear Doctor: Yesterday I had my first rectal exam; actually I hadn’t seen a doctor for about 20 plus years. After checking me out, the doctor had me remove my boxers and examined my genitals. Then he explained the process of the rectal exam, noting that “I might feel somewhat of a twitch in my penis.” That was an understatement. Once he plowed his finger into my asshole, I popped a boner. The doctor said it was perfectly normal. Is it? Signed, Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed: When the doctor entered your rectum, he hit your “g” spot, which occasionally causes an erection. Not to worry sir, it’s normal.

Dear Doctor: Recall that I wrote you recently regarding the fact the guy I was seeing was not receptive to have sex before marriage. You suggested I offer to give him a hand job, so I did, and thankfully he accepted. Unfortunately he has a small penis. This guy would be a good catch, but I need something bigger. Now what, Doctor? Signed, Needs

Dear Needs: Well then go look for it; and stop bothering me. Bigger isn’t always best.