Gay Erotic Stories

This is a story of fiction. Enjoy!

Continuing with our Q&A:

Dear Doctor: I’m a private in the military. During inspection, I called my Captain an asshole (under my breath), and he heard me. As punishment, he sent me to the brig for three days where two MPs made me suck their dicks, after which they rearranged my plumbing. What should I do? Signed, Private

Dear Private: You need go to your Captain, apologize for calling him an asshole, and report the MPs. Let me know how this turns out. I care.

Dear Doc: My girlfriend and I flew across country so I could “meet the folks” (we’re considering marriage after college). Long story short, her father caught us having sex in her bedroom, just about the time I was ready to unload. I was asked to leave (which I did), but want to make amends with her folks. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Signed, Tossed Out

Dear Tossed: That was a stupid thing to do, sir, but I guess you know that. I would suggest writing a letter of apology to her folks and beg forgiveness. A face-to-face meeting might not be a bad idea either. In the mean time, keep you pecker in your pants.

Dear Quack: I took your advice and told my Captain what had happened in the brig. He immediately called me a queer and had me dishonorably discharged from the service. Thanks a lot dickhead. Signed, Private (no more)

Dear Private: I think you got a bum deal, but that’s life. Get over it.

Dear Doctor: Despite your recent condescending answer to my question, I found a jock on campus that comes from a wealthy family and wears a size 13 shoe. I have agreed to have sex with him tomorrow, so you’d better be right about his pepe. Signed, Sorority Queen

Dear Queen: Good luck my dear, but don’t blame me if you’re disappointed.

Dear Doctor: When I married my husband twenty years ago, he weighed 185 pounds and had a 34 inch waist (he’s six feet tall). Now, he weighs 270 pounds and has a 44 inch waist. Having sex with this man is like “doing it” with a whale. His penis has retreated into his stomach, almost to the point where I can’t find it! Help! Signed, Starved for Sex

Dear Starved: You need to get this man to a medical professional immediately! He is a walking time bomb, and will eventually explode if he doesn’t shape up. Let me know the outcome. I care.

Dear Doc: I recently went to a new doctor for my annual check-up. After checking me out, he asked me to get an erection so he could “evaluate the blood flow in my penis”. I complied with his request, but think this might have been somewhat unusual. What do you think? Signed, Forced Erection

Dear Forced: This is absurd. Find another doc.

Dear Doctor: Obviously you got your degree from mail order. I had sex with that jock on campus last night … you know, the guy with a 13 size shoe? His pepe was about the size of my little finger. So I gave up my virginity based upon your sorry advice. You sir, are a quack. Signed, Sorority Girl

Dear Girl: You’re such a fool. Did you really believe there is a correlation between shoe size and, as you say, “pepe” size? Grow up, bitch.

Dear Doctor: My girlfriend wants to have sex with a black dude, primarily because she is under the impression that these guys have unusually large equipment. To top it off, she wants me to participate as well … call it a threesome. I’ve tried to tell her there is no truth to the rumor that all black dudes are well endowed. What can I tell her to nix this idea? Signed, Reluctant Participant

Dear Reluctant: Well, she could hit the jackpot, but do just as well statistically with any other guy. I think she risks being disappointed, but I’d go through with it just to shut her up. Let me know. I care.

Dear Doc: I finally talked my girlfriend into giving me head. Unfortunately I ejaculated into her mouth, being caught up in the moment so to speak. Now she won’t speak to me, let along give me another blowjob. What can I do to make amends? Signed, First Time BJ

Dear BJ: You might try apologizing. And the proper thing to do is announce your intentions by saying something like “here comes lunch!” That way, she has the option of having a protein shake or letting it go to waste.

Dear Doctor: When my husband and I have sex, he lets out a loud fart just prior to ejaculating. He claims this is simply a warning to me that he is about to unload. What do you make of this? Signed, Disgusted

Dear Disgusted: Disgusting indeed, and not very romantic. Get your husband some of that anti-gas medication and tell him to cut the crap.

Dear Doc: For financial reasons, I took on a roommate. We’re about the same age (24) and he’s very athletic (as am I). Last Sunday, we went for a three mile run. Returning to the apartment, he suggested he take a shower together. Not wanting to be rude, we hopped into the shower and lathered each other up. We both got hard and jacked each other off. Now, two days later, nothing has been said of this encounter by either of us. I would like to do this again, but am afraid to ask, thinking my roommate might think I’m gay. Signed, Roommate

Dear Roommate: There’s really nothing wrong with two grown men taking a shower together. I suggest you go for a run next Sunday, and see what comes up.

Dear Doc: Against my better judgment, I rounded up a black dude for a threesome with my girl friend. Once we all got naked, he and I “got to it”, leaving my girlfriend to watch. She finally told us to take a hike and now won’t speak to me. What’s her problem? And yes, my new found friend had a big dick. Signed, Now Eager Participant

Dear Eager: Her problem sir is the fact you left her high and dry while you and your black friend were (apparently) sucking each other off. Don’t you have any manners?

Dear Doc: I’m newly married to a great gal. Yesterday I woke with my typical piss hard on, which did not go unnoticed by my bride. She practically accused me a adultery! I tried to explain that this in quite normal of men and she should get over it. She’s still pissed! What should I do? Signed, Morning Wood

Dear Wood: Perhaps she has an older brother who could explain that morning wood is not only normal, it’s to be expected. Or, you can tell her that you’re ready to go. Is she?

Dear Doctor: I have agreed to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend this weekend. Does size matter? I’ve been told by several of my girlfriends that I might be disappointed. Signed, Virgin

Dear Virgin: Size does not matter; it’s how the man uses what the good Lord gave him. For your information, the average erect penis is between 5 ½ and 6 ½ inches. Anything larger or smaller than that is bestowed on less than 10% of the male population. And just so you know, the average vagina can’t take much more than 6 inches without some degree of pain. Good luck and let me know how this works out. I care.

Dear Doc: My wife and I were fooling around in the bedroom. She pulled out her vibrator, greased it up, turned it on, and stuck it up my ass. I got hard immediately, to the point where the head of my penis was about to explode. What’s the deal? Signed, Ass Fucked

Dear Ass: This would not be unusual. The vibrator stimulated your prostate gland, which caused your penis to become more aroused that normal. Shut up and enjoy.

Dear Doctor: My husband “gives it to me” only once per week, usually on Sunday morning before he plays golf and I go off to church. He claims that his “load” is more intense by abstaining for a week. What do you think of this bullshit? Signed, Starved. PS: I’d also like to have sex more often, too.

Dear Starved: While it might be true that men who have not ejaculated for six or seven days might experience a larger load, however, the intensity of the load should be the same as any other time. I’d suggest you start going to early church.

Dear Doctor: Our swim coach told us in no uncertain terms that we were not to have sex or masturbate during the season. To ensure compliance, he lines us all up naked before practice and “milks” our penis, looking for seaman residue. Do you think our coach is gay? Signed, Back Stroke

Dear Stroke: For sure. This is inappropriate; you guys need to tell the athletic director. Has he ever found any traces of seaman?

Dear Doctor: I just turned 18 years-old yesterday. This morning, my Dad asked if I wanted to have “the talk”. Not wanting to embarrass him, I agreed. After listening to him for about an hour explaining the sexual habits of adults, he asked if I had any questions. I said just one, and asked how often he jacked-off when he was my age. He grounded me on the spot for two weeks. Do you think this was fair? Signed, No Car

Dear Car: Actually no, it was not fair, but I think your Dad should have answered the question. Did you learn anything from “the talk”?

Dear Doctor: I’ve been dating a girl for several weeks, and finally got up the nerve to ask her for sex. She told me that unless I had seven inches “packed away”, she would not consider sleeping with me. Doc, I’m not about to cut two inches off my dick just for her. What should I do? Signed, Living Large

Dear Large: Tell her that seven inches is rare in a man, but you have a twelve inch tongue.

Dear Doctor: My husband of five years refuses to have sex unless it is in total darkness. I have never seen the man naked. He will not let me touch his penis. Nor will he even think about touching my breasts. Is this weird? Signed, Blind

Dear Blind: Weird indeed. Tell your husband you’re going to counseling and he’s welcome to accompany you. Let me know. I care.

Dear Doc: I have an extremely thick foreskin, which does not easily slide over the head of my penis during sexual intercourse or masturbation. One doctor suggested circumcision, which is out of the question. Any advice would be appreciated? Signed, Thick

Dear Thick: There are many lubricants on the market which may help your situation. Please speak with your personal physician, who can make several recommendations.

Dear Doctor: My boyfriend has a penis the size of a pig’s nose, like he’s short and stout. He doesn’t even come close to satisfying me in the bedroom. I’ve never had this problem with other men I’ve had sexual relations with. What should I do? Signed, Unsatisfied PS: I really like this guy.

Dear Unsatisfied: As you know by now, men come in different sizes. I recommend you speak with your boyfriend and express your feelings. Suggest to him that both of you engage in a bit more foreplay before intercourse.

Dear Doctor: When my boyfriend and I have sex, he can “go” for about forty or fifty minutes. Frankly, he wears me out. Is this normal? Also, after about fifteen minutes of “down” time, he’s ready to go again. Please help! Signed, Exhausted

Dear Exhausted: Forty to fifty minutes is indeed unusual. You might try giving him oral sex, which may reduce his “up” time. Good luck!

Dear Doc: Remember me? My dad took away my car because I asked him how often he masturbated when he was my age. Well guess what? Yesterday, I found him jacking off in the basement, reading a dirty magazine. So not only did I get my car back, but also a crisp C-note as well. I had to promise not to tell mom! Signed, Got my Car Back

Dear Car: Congratulations.

Dear Doc: Against your advice, I agreed to let my sister suck my dick. But I got wise this time. Before I allowed her to even see my penis, I made her show me her tits. Who’s stupid now? Signed, Big Brother

Dear Brother: You are pal. How was your blowjob?

Dear Doctor: Father John here. Or should I say ex-Father John. The head master caught me jacking off in my room, as I forgot to lock the door. Now what, asshole? Signed, Civilian

Dear Father John: Have you considered the porn industry?

Dear Doc: My girlfriend asked me why some men are circumcised. I’m not, but haven’t a clue as to what the answer might be. Signed, Uncut

Dear Uncut: Circumcision dates back centuries. Originally (and to this day) this ritual is practiced by a number of religions; it’s even referred to in the Bible. Towards the late nineteenth century, it became common practice in the United States, as some thought it would preclude young men from masturbating! I guess that didn’t quite work out, did it? Ha! There are also some people who believe being circumcised results in better hygiene. Bottom line, it’s all bullshit! Enjoy your foreskin!

Hey Doc! I finally got my girlfriend to watch a porn movie with me … you know, just to warm her up. Now she wants to know why I’m so “small” (actually, I’m about average, with 6 inches). Why do the guys in porn flicks have such big dicks? Signed, Curious

Dear Curious: As you might guess, most men in the “industry” are reasonably well endowed, although some are not. Please know also that oftentimes camera tricks are used to, shall we say, “enhance the goods”. Tell your girlfriend to shut up and enjoy what you have, which I might add, is more than some guys.

Dear Doc: I recently joined a gym, where I periodically work out. In the locker room, I’ve noticed that the older guys (fifty or so) have smaller dicks than the younger men. Is this just a coincidence, or is this what I have to look forward to? Signed, Seven Inches

Dear Seven: I’m going to bet that the older guys have put on a few pounds over the past thirty years. Believe me, their original penis is still there, it’s just been swallowed by their beer gut. I recommend you don’t gain weight. Dear Doctor: My husband is on what I call “scheduled sex”, which occurs on Wednesday nights and Sunday afternoon (except during football season). He also has a ritual where he takes a shower, shaves, and comes out of the bathroom naked with an erection, always asking “you want this, don’t you baby (shaking his penis)? I want to please my husband, but this is about as romantic as a bowel movement. Please help me! Signed, Football Widow

Dear Football: I think this might go beyond wanting to please your husband. Tell “swinging dick” that you both are going on a cruise for your next anniversary. There you will have a captive audience where you (actually he) might be able to find some variety in the bedroom, or in this case, stateroom. Good luck. Let me know. I care. Dear Doc: I’m nineteen years old and still live at home. My dad (who’s a doctor) caught me jacking off. So every morning, he makes me take a salt peter pill, which precludes me from getting an erection, much less “getting off.” Is there an antidote to override the salt peter? I’m desperate to unload. Signed, Limp Dick

Dear Limp: I don’t know of any antidote for salt peter. Tell your dad that you’re an adult and he needs to understand at your age that you have needs. If you have an older brother, perhaps he could intervene on your behalf.