“Cut it out, Donnie! You know I don’t go for that shit”, Darrell laughed but he still shoved my hand away from his dick. Nice dick. It was a handful, if he would let me fill my hand. “Anybody else and I’d bust ‘em for that. You gotta quit before I forget I owe you. I really appreciate the loan, but I’m gonna pay you back in cash, okay?” We’d known each other forever, all through school and everything. But after graduation, Darrell was a slow starter. He worked at service stations and grocery stores, little jobs. When he got a decent job he always ended up getting fired for being late or just not showing up. He was the big star quarterback in high school, never got over thinking he was somehow privileged. I always liked him. I figured out real early not to bother him around the other guys, he’d always smart off about me being a sissy or something. He didn’t treat me bad if I caught him alone, though. He lived just up the street from me, so I ran into him all over. If nobody was around, he was nice, didn’t have to prove anything. I always let him know I was after his dick, just so he’d know where to come if he ever wanted to give it a try. Funny, after all these years, it was sort of a habit to make the play for him, even though I’d given up on him long ago. This time we met up in the parking lot of the convenience store. He was buying cigarettes and I set a case of beer up on the counter. He followed me out to my car, hoping I’d offer him a beer. I knew him like a book! I got in and acted like I was about to drive away making him hang on the window, almost begging me for a beer before I gave in. It was when he got into the seat beside me and opened up a beer, turned it back and chugged, that’s when I reached over to caress his long dick inside the blue work pants. “You can keep the money, Darrel. Just give me some of that dick and I’ll forget about it. Hey, that’s fifty bucks for your old worn out cock! Where you gonna get a better deal than that?” I laughed at his defensiveness. We’d got to the point where he was more afraid of me than I was of him. I used to be afraid of his rejection, now he was afraid of my insistence. Afraid he might give in? What a laugh. “I’m selling my motorcycle to Harry, he’s gonna pay me on Friday and I’ll have your money, then. I really appreciate it, Donnie, you know I do. If I was ever gonna give it to anybody, you know? A guy? It’d be you. But I just don’t do that and you know it!” “Sure, I know. But you’d be disappointed if I didn’t try, admit it!”, I punched his arm, gently. He laughed, “Well, nobody but you still wants it. Guess I’m glad somebody thinks I’m still sexy. God knows Faye sure don’t want me no more. Man, I thought that girl would stick, you know? I really believed in her, still can’t get over the divorce. It just eats at me.” I knew that better than him. As soon as she left, he started downhill. Like he couldn’t make it without her. She stayed with him until her last year of college, then dumped him for one of her classmates. Looked like he would have seen it coming, she was moving up and he was just standing still. “Why didn’t you go to college, Darrel? Must have had some offers, a football scholarship?” “Shit. I got an offer from Mississippi and one from Arkansas, but either one would mean leaving her behind. I had to work to make the payments on the trailer, the car. She had a scholarship for City, but we still had to buy her clothes and we had to eat, you know? Never should have got married so young. Everybody told me how stupid it was; I wouldn’t listen. So, now I know.” He gave me a cynical grin. “Damn, that beer was so good. Let me have one more and I’ll get out of your way. Guess you got a party or something, huh?” “Yeah, some friends are coming over to cook out--just ribs and hamburgers. I’ve got to go make the potato salad.” I slapped his thigh, “Take a couple, I got some wine at home. We probably won’t need much beer. Wish you’d come, too. But it’s three other gay friends, I don’t think you’d be comfortable.” He laughed, “A regular orgy, huh? Seems like gay guys always partying, having all the fun. Coolest bars in the city are the gay bars. You ever go? To the disco bars?” “I’ve been a few times, not my style. Loud music and flashing lights, reefer smoke and too much drinking.” “Sounds more like my kinda place than yours.” He laughed. “You was always the quiet type, head in a book.” “Yeah, I’m still a private guy, rather stay home and keep it low key. But, uh, Darrell, I really need to go, okay?” I touched his leg, again, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “Sorry, Donnie. Didn’t mean to hold you up. Nice to see you, thanks for the beers”, he was getting out of the car, turned back, “And I’ll have your fifty by Friday night, promise!” “Okay, man, sorry to rush off. Wish we had more time to talk. Come on by the house Friday evening, we’ll drink a couple of beers, hit a joint, just talk.” “Sounds good. See ya, Donnie.” Kind of sad, to see a sharp guy like Darrell running down at the heels. He just wasn’t making it. Always needed a haircut, his clothes old and rumpled. He needed somebody to shake him, wake him up! Wish I knew a good woman to sick on him. But women have an aversion to a guy who can’t hold up his head, they’re looking for financial security, a safe place to raise kids. Can’t blame them, still, Darrell was a good guy. The party was nice. Chad and Jeremy brought over a new guy, Bernie. They kept trying to fix me up, couldn’t stand me living alone. We had a few laughs, the food was great. Conversation sparkled with wit and humor. But it wasn’t the kind of sparks to get me all hot and romantic. Bernie was cute. Cute didn’t turn me on. Thursday about dark, a knock at the back door surprised me. Nobody uses the back door. “Hya, Darrell! Come on in, dude! What did you do? Walk down the alley? Like when we was kids. Come on in, you look nice, got a date?” He was dressed better than I’d seen him in a while, fresh shave and hair brushed back and neat. He had on a pink oxford cloth dress shirt, not like him at all, and a pair of khaki shorts, with some ugly tennis shoes I might could overlook. “Hey, Donnie!” He grinned, too big. “Am I interrupting anything? You got company?” “No, not at all. Come on in. Want a beer?” I’m wondering, furiously, what this surprise visit could mean. “Sure, always ready for a beer! I donno, just didn’t have any plans, thought I’d see if you was busy ... thanks.” He grabbed the beer and hit it hard, like always. “Well, uh, you want to sit down? I was watching TV, just the news. In here, come on.” It felt awkward; Darrel had never dropped by for a visit before. I had the feeling he was ill at ease and it made me jittery. I sat on the end of the couch and he glanced around. There was a chair to the side, but he sat by me, on the center of the couch. Too close, it was not right, he was nervous. I hit the remote, killed the TV, and turned to him. “What’s wrong, Darrell? You’re making me crazy. You’re jumpy and something’s wrong!” “Huh? No, nothing wrong, Donnie. I just dropped by; you said we’d talk, smoke a joint, remember?” He tried a grin--it looked strained. “Your place looks real nice. I ain’t been here since your folks moved away, you fixed it up great!” “Thanks. It took a while, I didn’t do it all overnight.” “Hey, can I take off my shirt? The walk warmed me up and I’m starting to sweat!” he set the empty can on the coffee table, began on his buttons. “Sure. Want another? You’re sweating!” His forehead was shining. “Yeah, please!” When I brought a second beer, he’d shed the shirt and he wasn’t wearing an undershirt. He sat there with his chest bare and his khaki shorts open at the fly. He had no underwear at all! His dark bush curled in the vee of his open zipper. I sat by him and put my hand on his thigh. “Okay, Darrell. What’s up? Don’t even try and tell me you’re just hot! You decided to come out of the closet, right? And you’re making the big announcement to me!” “What’s a matter? This is what you wanted, right? All the times you grabbed at my dick, now you gonna chicken out? You was just teasing me?” “For god’s sake, Darrell, you’re scaring me! Cut the game, I’ve known you too long. Trust me--give me the truth. I’ll help if I can, you know that.” “Donnie. I don’t have nobody else to turn to, man. I hate to ask you, shit, I hate it. I thought you really wanted my dick. I figured I’d let you have it and maybe you’d help me out one more time. Jesus, I should have known you was just playing me, you can do better than my little dick, anytime!” “Never mind that, get to the hard core, Darrell. What kind of help? What’s wrong?” “It’s my truck, Donnie. I guess I’m about six months behind. I’m selling the bike to catch up on the payments, you know that. Harry gets paid tomorrow at five and then I’m home free. But the fucking bank wants a payment by noon tomorrow or they gonna take my truck. I just need the money till Harry pays me, I swear to god. I tried to tell the bank manager, but he don’t care. I’m so far in hock I got nothing left to sell. I’m fucked if they take my truck, Donnie. No way to get a job or nothing. I’ll never get off the bottom, again. I’ve already borrowed from my family and all my friends, they hate to see me coming. I didn’t know I’d get this low, man, never saw it happening. Always thought I’d get it together before things got so bad.” He leaned over his knees, face on his hands. No games, now. He was just letting the words leak out, not making them up as he went along. I knew genuine when I heard it. Darrell had shocked himself, finally hit his bottom line. “How much is a payment, Darrell? How much to keep the bank off your ass?” I rubbed his back. He was shaking, God, I hoped he wouldn’t start crying! “One eighty five.” His head came up slow--eyes mois,t but under control. “Donnie, I’ll do anything for you if you’ll stand me this one more time. I ain’t got nobody else left that trusts me. They all give up on me.” “Yeah, I’ll help you, Darrell. But then you got to prove everybody wrong, okay? You got to get your ass in gear. I have a friend with an antique shop, he’s looking for a delivery driver. You go talk to him in the morning. No more fucking around, man.” He leaned over and hugged me, kept his face down on my chest. I tried to cheer him up. “Now, any more problems I can solve for you? Got a blue light special, tonight only, two for the price of one!” I slapped his back with a hardy, all-good-men, kind of touch. Really didn’t want emotional out-pourings, so tacky, you know? “Where’s that beer? I need it”, his voice was soft but not all mushy. I silently thanked him for it. “Here you go, we’ll have another one after this, and maybe another, who knows?” He needed to get happy. “Hope we ain’t celebrating too soon. You got more faith in me than I have myself, Donnie. But I’ll promise you a real effort. I want to make it, man. Just ain’t sure I got what it takes.” I laughed, “Shit, Darrell. I know you got the balls; I was trying to grope them just the other day! Now, close up your zipper before I start diving, again!” That made him laugh, a real genuine laugh, fueled by relief and hope, “Hell, I’m all yours Donnie. You welcome to anything I got, cotton balls, limp dick, anything! That’s why I was so nervous, coming over here. I ain’t had a hard-on in months, figured I’d let you fuck me if you wanted to. I didn’t have anything else to offer you.” He kept laughing, but the strain caused a hollow echo. “You really got erection problems? That’s a bummer, man. It’s got to be just the depression, you’re too young to lose the arteries. When you get your shit together, all the stress chills out, hell; you still got the juice, man. Just a temporary thing, happens to everybody when they get stressed out. Forget it. You was really gonna let me fuck you? Damn, I should have kept my mouth shut.” “Don’t laugh about that! My ass started hurting when you opened the door! It might stay clenched for a week!” He grinned. “Wow”, I laughed, “that would be a great sexual experience, fucking a button hole! Thanks for the thought.” I punched him, playful, “You really thought that was all you had left to offer? Gee, you doing a self-hate campaign or what? Your friendship and your affection, that’s worth more than bad sex, anytime.” “Thanks, don’t seem like much to me. And what makes you think I’d be bad sex? Hell, I might be the best ass you ever got, how you know?” He teased me. “Cause great ass requires practice! Now, Frankie Smith? That was the world’s finest ass. Talk about practice! He logged a hundred hours before his junior year.” “Frankie Smith, the basketball center?” He was shocked. “No shit? I never knew that.” “Darrell, you was so fucking straight, nobody would have mentioned it in front of you! You was always like a super Eagle Scout or something. God, everybody was fucking Frankie. Some of your old buddies were taking their girlfriends home early so they could go catch Frankie at the skating rink parking lot. He had guys lined up outside his mother’s Oldsmobile! The twins, uh? Willy and Greg? They double-teamed him every weekend while everybody watched through the fogged up windows.” “You for real? Hell, Greg was my best man! I used to bowl with him on Thursdays. Shit, I used to shower with him! I even spent the night with him and Willy a couple of times, nothing happened, I guarantee!” “Okay, okay. You live in one world, I live in another! Just some guys switch between worlds, you know? You ought to catch the twins down at the Iron Horse. Talk about dance! You wouldn’t believe it!” It was a revelation for Darrell, a new way of seeing his classmates as I went on to enlighten him on the secret world that went on around him. He told me all about the sweet faced prom queens that were blowing the football players in the locker room after the games. That was a total circle of gossip outside my knowledge. Darrell had even seen a cheerleader fucking a coach, well, an assistant coach, on the bus coming home from an away game. Then I got to tell him about a certain track coach that would let our all-state decathlon champ suck his dick only when he won a meet. It was the most fun either of us had in a long time. We hit the beer and a couple of joints, put on some of the music we both had special memories for, you know, the songs that played when we were in high school. Before we knew it, it was around one a.m. and we were both fairly smashed. “Jesus! Man, I gotta be up at eight and get to work by nine. Hate to put an end to this but I need to get some sleep!”, I jumped up. “My fault. I should have left hours ago, but I was having such a good time. Shit, the clock rocks, huh? I’m gonna crash on your sofa, okay? Wake me in the morning; tell me again about the driver job, I’ll forget. All right?” “The sofa’s too short, you can’t even stretch out your legs. I’ve got a king size bed and I don’t fuck virgins, so come on. Just promise you won’t tell anybody you slept with me, I have a reputation to protect.” He was too buzzed to worry, just happy to have a bed. While I pulled down the sheet, he kicked off his shoes and dropped his khakis. Sure enough, no under gear! He crawled about half way across before he passed out. I stripped, too. Pajamas just seemed silly at this point. I shoved him over enough to make a space for myself and crashed. I have this terrific alarm clock. It’s a monster brass machine with a bell that brings the fire department if you don’t cut it off quick. Throwing it across the room does no good; I tried it back in the early days. After living with it a while, I learned to wake up just before it did, and shut it off before it’s scream wrecked my whole day. Five to eight I rose up and cut off the bell. Darrell had kicked off the sheet and lay nuzzled against my shoulder. My left hand was down in that dark cleft below his belly where he curled, on his side, towards me. I wasn’t sure what my fingers were up against, but it was an interesting texture of hard. I felt around. Yep, a very thick, very hard cock and a pair of extra firm, extra large balls. So his problem was only in his perception, not in his equipment. I jerked it. Gently at first, then with a firm grip and an insistent rhythm. His upper leg lifted higher. His pelvis shoved against me, he grunted, pumped his ass, mumbled something ... pumped again then opened his eyes with a, “Godalmighty! That feels great! Oh, fuck! Yeah!” He pumped, rolled to his back and raised up to watch my fist, to see his bright, hot pink head flare out over my grip. He lay with mouth loose and open, eyes glazed in semi-wakefulness, he hunched pwards with his hips and shot a load that splattered over my hand and spotted his belly, shot again and ran in little runners down over my knuckles, dripped onto his bush and balls. He fell back with a great sigh. I leaned over and kissed his wet dick, licked a taste of jizz to start my day off right! “Lay still. I’ll get a towel”, I told him. “Don’t worry, I ain’t moving for a week!” I laughed on the way to the bathroom. I had to piss into the shower stall because my hard on wouldn’t go down. Went back with a warm, damp cloth and a towel. Cleaned him up, then told him, “I’ve still got a hard on. You can either get out of bed and go see about that job or roll over and give up that cherry red ass. What’s it gonna be?” “Sorry, but I really gotta piss!”, he was climbing over me. “I don’t mean to be a cock teaser, but this is like a spring flood, an act of Nature!”, he leaned down and kissed me, “Thanks, Donnie, for everything!” He kissed me, again, with more heat and promise, then squeezed my hard dick, “Hold that thought for me, about a week or two. Give me time to get used to this stuff.” I wrote him a check to keep the bank happy a day or two, wrote down the address of Jeremy’s shop, gave him a note of introduction, and lunch money. He went home to shower and change. I went to work happy to have finally sacked my quarterback. Did he return that night and pay me back the money? Do you really need to ask? Where’s your trust? Your faith in human nature? As long as I did the right thing, does it matter? Possible ending number one: Darrell comes back at six, brings me all the money he owes me and a bottle of champagne. We phone for pizza. He moves in and we live happily ever after. You like that? And Santa came on Christmas eve and brought me a pony, the Easter Bunny brought me a Faberge’ Egg, too. I love a happy ending. Less fancy but nice, the alternative ending: Darrell brought the money, thanked me for helping him and believing in him. He kept the job with Jeremy and began driving for him on buying trips. They canvassed country flea markets and road side shops all over the deep south, stayed in motels and breakfast inns, became best friends and opened their own Bed&Breakfast up at Gatlinburg. Yeah, right! Okay, for real: So he never paid me back. But he did take the job with Jeremy, got on his feet, landed a better paying job with the county, driving a truck for the road repair crew. He married a waitress and they had three kids. I still see him every once in a while and I tease him when nobody’s around. He has a low hanging belly, wears plaid shorts and reality bites. I still did the right thing. I’d do it again.
