the letter gary walked in, sorting through the mail. “anything interesting?” “no. bill. bill. the ‘advocate’. junk. ‘you may already be a winner’ . . .” “i like to think so.” “a postcard from jim and tommy.” “bitches.” “the beach looks nice.” “tan bitches.” “oh, good. a letter from mom.” “b- . . . how nice.” “hey!” “she’s your mother but she’s my mother-in-law. she’s just fulfilling her role.” “she likes you.” “she’s learned i’m not going anywhere.” “i hope not.” “of course not. besides, i have to agree with her. nothing’s too good for her precious. but in this case that happens to be me. what does she have to say?” “nothing much. her and dad are going down to visit aunt ida next month.” “which one is she?” “the one in georgia. with the dogs.” “right.” “my cousin geordie’s gotten divorced.” “have i met him?” “no . . . hmm.” “what?” “mom says i should take my truck to him and let him work on it.” “our truck.” “yeah, i know. she says ‘my’ but she means ‘our’.” “right.” “huh-nee . . .” “what, shu-garrr . . .?” “be nice.” “always.” “maybe we can.” “what?” “drive our truck out there. he’s a real mechanic. and he has a couple of his own sitting around all the time. we can drop off ours, drive back here in a WORKING truck, and then go pick ours up again after he gets it running right.” “and this would cost us how much?” “i don’t know. but less than it would cost to get it done here in town. and it would be fun to get away for a while.” “a while?” “a long weekend. we could do that.” “where does he live?” “about in the middle of nebraska. about halfway between here and my parents.” “that’s your idea of getting away?” “it ain’t the caymans, honey, but it’s away.” “whatever. a fabulous weekend. in beautiful buttfuck, nebraska.” “actually, HONEY, it’s called callaway.” “whatever.” the road OUR truck ran alright most of the time, but it burned too much oil and wouldn’t start some mornings. so late one friday afternoon we picked up a sixpack and chugged out of denver. i popped ‘maroon’ into the cd player and we relaxed our way out of town on i-76. it got dark behind our backs before we stopped to get something to eat in sterling. another sixpack and then the highway again. switching over to stevie ray. the motel we were aiming for was in ogallala, across the border. from our house it was about a four hour drive—maybe more—but neither of us minded. we drove, drinking beer, holding hands. not saying a whole lot of anything. of course, at a certain point, we had to relieve ourselves. there’s a nice little rest stop right after you enter nebraska. gary sidled over to the urinal and i made a beeline for the stall. “what are you doing over there?” he asked. “taking a piss, what do you think?” he grinned at me over his shoulder. “get over here!” “i’ve already started,” i protested. “but i want to see that pretty little dick of yours, honey.” i turned—as far as i could and keep at what i was doing—and gave him a dirty look. “i would deeply prefer it if you didn’t refer to my dick as ‘little’ in public, thank you very much.” “i know better. and this ain’t public.” “whatever. just let me finish here and i’ll show you all you want.” i went back to what i was doing. “promise?” “jesus!” i jumped a foot in the air. he had already finished and stood right behind me. my dick swung off course and i sprayed the wall before i could get it under control again. he busted up laughing. it was when i was hitting the bowl again that i noticed his dick hanging out of his pants. that’s my guy. “what’s that?” he reached down, took it in his hand and shook it. “a dick. i know you’ve seen one before. you gonna be much longer?” thank god i was almost finished. i know how we both are. “almost done. too bad we weren’t at home. we coulda got in the shower.” he gave me a knowing look. “yeah. lotta good fun going to waste there.” i squirted the last bit out. “can i put my dick away now? have you seen enough?” “sure, go ahead.” i tucked myself in and zipped up my pants. he, on the other hand, kept his out. “you want something, boy?” i smirked. we have these things we do. he put a hand on my shoulder and made me sit down on the toilet. my mouth was ready for him when he put his cock in it. i like feeling denim under my hands when i’m blowing him. him all dressed and his cock sticking out through the front and him wearing jeans and a flannel shirt and me down there feeding on his big hardon. and it was hard. i did good work on him. i was getting ready to ask him if he was planning on popping when . . . i don’t guess i had heard a car drive up. but i heard a door opening and footsteps. i froze. you know it could always be the cops. and, usually, that’s not a good thing. but it was just some guy. i don’t know if he had noticed that anybody else was there. he had walked directly to the urinal. when the guy started doing his business, gary had taken a hand and pushed my head back down onto his dick. i was sucking him off again. yeah, it was a turnon. i glanced up after a few seconds to check out what gary was doing. he had his head turned around, watching the guy’s back. i didn’t know how much noise i was supposed to be making when i blew him, so i didn’t make much. i mean, I could hear the sound of meat being sucked ‘cause i was the one right there doing it. other than that, i heard the soft splash of the man. when he turned around to go he must have seen us. or, at least, he saw gary first. and then he must have seen me, ‘cause i heard him go “fuck!”. i kept on. gary’s hand was on my head, urging me to keep on. i heard footsteps going out fast. we managed to wait until he was out the door before we laughed. “we probably scared him out of ten years’ growth,” gary snickered. “he’ll probably never come in HERE again,” i agreed. “just as well, this ain’t the place for wussies.” i looked up at him. “just real men?” i said. “yeah . . .” his hardon swayed before me. i took it back in my mouth again. now we got serious. after our little encounter. we both wanted to get him off. i got a little dirtier then. grabbing his balls and sucking them. forcing my mouth down over his cock until i started to choke. he held it in his hand and hit my face with it. we heard the door open again. gary leaned back a little bit and peeked out. when he turned around to me there was a grin on his face. “he’s back,” he mouthed. we could have played this a couple of ways, but i wasn’t sure which way to go. i usually leave that stuff up to gary anyway, so i went back to sucking. but after a minute or so, i couldn’t resist temptation. i sat forward on the toilet, keeping my hand on gary’s cock and stroking it. i glanced out. the guy was watching us. not doing anything but watching us. not rubbing his crotch or pulling on his dick or anything. just watching. gary turned a little sideways and i did too. now i knew what to do. suck dick. i opened my mouth wide as i leaned forward again. one hand around the base to make it extra hard and hold it in place. run the fat head over my lips. pop it in and out of my mouth. take a little more cock each time. make the whole thing wet and slick with my spit. suck it. open my eyes and look out sideways to see the guy. his eyes were wide open and shock—or something—was in them. welcome to the real world. gary was giving me a quiet slow murmur. “yeah, do it. take that dick. come on, boy. suck that cock.” never loud. never too much. like gary was talking to me and nobody else was there. but we all knew that the number was three. man sucking cock. man getting his cock sucked. man watching and listening to them. i got going then. sliding my hand and mouth on gary’s long cock, getting it ready. my own dick was rockhard in my jeans, but i knew it wasn’t going to come out. this wasn’t about that. i heard the noise gary makes before he comes. he took his dick out of my mouth and shot sweet hot juice all over my face. i closed my eyes. felt it hit me. felt his tongue eat it off my face. when we were done and turned around, the man was gone. in the motel bed that night we kissed and gary jerked me off. so we’d be even again. the farm we slept in late the next morning. it wasn’t going to take us much longer to get where we were going. a couple of hours on the interstate and we were in cozad. north to callaway was an hour or so more and then about ten minutes past that we turned off onto the dirt road that led us to geordie’s place. i thought it was kind of nice, as we drove up. right before it we had to cross an old bridge over a small stream. the house itself was nestled among some tall trees that sheltered it. it was your typical small two-story farmhouse. there was also a barn across the dirt yard. geordie was outside working on a truck. a couple more were parked around the perimeter of the yard. as he came toward us, wiping his hands on a rag, i checked him out. he was country alright. barely taller than me, but a little heavier. all those pork tenderloins and potatoes had made their mark. not bad looking, in a midwestern bland sort of way. he had a blond crewcut and one of those goatees still worn by straight boys and the fashion impaired. gary said “hi” and geordie responded in kind. they weren’t a real backslapping huggy bunch, if you know what i mean. then i got my first little surprise. gary introduced me. “this is my . . . uh, rick.” geordie regarded me kind of warily, as if he had doubts about whether this dog would bite or not. after a second he gave me his half-smile and stuck out a big bearpaw for me to shake. he hadn’t gotten all the motor oil or whatever off his hand. how butch. gary seemed uncomfortable. i don’t know why. it was going to be a few minutes before i made him pay for his little slip-up. they did small talk for a few minutes, ignoring me. i looked around at the yard, the house, the few stray ducks that wandered up to me. they were suddenly my new best friends. geordie was asking what was wrong with the truck and what it did and all that. “well,” he said. “i’ll take a look at it while you all get settled. i cleaned out that back bedroom a little bit if you wanta go put your stuff in there.” gary and i grabbed out bags and went inside. it was a nice and plain old house. but it did have a half-empty feel. you could somehow sense that—once upon a time—more than one person lived here. when we got to the spare bedroom, gary looked around. “i don’t think he had to clean up anything.” “what do you mean,” i asked. “i think he’s been sleeping back here. i don’t think he’s been staying in their room.” “yeah. whatever.” he looked at me. “what’s eating you?” why did he even ask me. he knew. “‘this is my ‘rick’?’” “i thought you might bring that up.” “i’m not your ‘rick’. i’m your lover.” “i know that. and he knows it too.” “why couldn’t you say it?” “i don’t know. i just balked. old habits, i guess. being back here.” “but he knows.” “yeah, he knows.” “and he’s okay with this? i’m not going to have to pretend to be something i’m not?” gary came over and hugged me. “no.” “‘cause you know i’m not good at it.” “i know.” it was nice to have our arms around each other. it’s easy for me to forgive him just about anything when we do that. “come on,” i said. “let’s go see what cousin’s doing. what’s he going to think if we up and disappear into the bedroom.” “i don’t care,” gary murmured. “maybe he thinks were unpacking. or maybe he’s gonna think i’m kissin’ my sweetie.” we laid down on the bed and made out. we got hard, but didn’t do anything. i rolled over and he put his arms around me and we fell asleep. the field when i woke up, he was gone. i went outside. geordie was still peering into the insides of our truck. “where’s gary,” i asked. geordie raised his head barely enough to see me. “gone into town. he said he was gonna get some steaks for us to grill tonight. he told me to tell you he wouldn’t be long.” gary did like to eat and cook, so i wasn’t surprised about what he had done. still, he left me here and i’d rather have gone with him. i wasn’t all that sure whether geordie and i had a lot to talk about. i waved toward the truck. “what do you think?” he grunted. “i’m gonna have to keep it a week or so,” he said. “just to make sure i get everything fixed right. but it won’t be too bad.” i could have asked him what was wrong with it, but i wouldn’t have known what he was talking about anyway, so i didn’t. he wasn’t volunteering either. the strong silent type. or the big dumb type. i couldn’t tell. i stood there. maybe i made him a little nervous. me being gay and all. or he had to say something to break the silence. “i’d offer you a beer but there ain’t none of that either. he’s getting them too.” “that’s alright.” more silence. what was i supposed to do. there were those ducks to chase, i guess. “i’m gonna go take a walk,” i said. “i don’t see the country much.” i suppose what he did was a low chuckle. it mixed in with the clunk of metal underneath the hood. “there ain’t much to see.” there was no point in going out to the road. we had come in that way and i had to agree there wasn’t much to see. behind the barn there seemed to be an opening in the trees, so i went out that way. as it turned out, it was nice. maybe there wasn’t much. low rolling fields. green and gray and brown. but it was peaceful. the stream that we had crossed to get in curved back around the farm and i walked alongside it for a way. now i’m not a nature boy. i didn’t grow up in a place like this, like gary had. i guess that’s why i appreciated it. it was different for me. there’s something that happens to me when i get out in the world like that. i don’t know what it was. i know when we had gone camping down in the sangre de cristos a couple of times i had really liked it. the two of us out there around a fire at night. curling up in our sleeping bags. the sky and the stars. i hiked a half-a-mile or so. when i looked back at the house, it was like a little box held in by some bushes. isolated. i tried to imagine what it must be like during the winter, being out here. i guess if you’re married, it wouldn’t be so bad. but then geordie wasn’t married anymore. maybe that’s what made him quiet. the sun was getting low. the light was changing. as i stood there, i saw a green pickup appear on the horizon and drive up. gary was back. the bed we dragged a grill out of the barn, popped a six-pack, and got ready to do the steaks and some baked potatoes. geordie had gone off to take a shower while we kept an eye on the fire. “if we ate this way all the time we’d end up like him,” i said. gary was only mildly amused. “hey, i’m a country boy too. i might put on a few pounds one of these days.” “all the more man for me,” i said, walking up behind him. i put my arms around him while he tended the steaks. we were still standing like that when geordie came out. my back was to him so i don’t know whether he was surprised or not, but if he was he had time to compose himself. in any case, i didn’t move. this was who we were. he had changed into a clean white t-shirt and jeans. all scrubbed and clean he looked like a big happy baby boy. maybe not all that happy. but not so bad. they talked about this and that. mostly about relatives. i noticed that they didn’t talk anything about the divorce at all. or if anything got close to the topic, geordie shied off. i kept quiet most of the time. after we ate we sat on the porch for a few minutes, then went inside to watch t.v. i guess this is what you do when you live out here. ‘high plains drifter’ was on, so we watched that. which was fine by me, ‘cause it’s my favorite clint eastwood movie. gary and i were on the couch and geordie sat over in an old rocking chair. after a while i stretched out, laying my head in gary’s lap. out of the corner of my eye, every now and then, i could see geordie glance over. i had my hand on gary’s knee and his hand was on my side, or sometimes stroking my hair. after the movie was over, i was ready for bed. all that heavy food and the beer and the change in altitude had done their duty. we said our goodnights and geordie shuffled off to his bedroom. when we were alone, gary was kind of quiet. i waited until we were in bed to ask. “what you thinking, babe?” “about geordie.” “what about him?” “what i said before. this afternoon. i think he’s been sleeping in here. i don’t think he’s been sleeping in his old bed. their bed. and he’s in there tonight.” “oh.” he pulled me closer and kissed me. “i think it’s kind of sad. that’s all.” “yeah.” “there weren’t any pictures either.” “what?” “didn’t you notice? there weren’t any pictures out.” i hadn’t noticed. “well, babe,” i said. “i been there. you been there. you know what it’s like.” “yeah. it’s not good. i don’t ever want to do that again.” “i hope you don’t have to.” he was all apologetic. “oh, honey, that’s not what i meant. i didn’t mean that at all.” “i know, i know.” “i love you more than anything in the world, you know that.” “i know. i love you too.” we kissed. a lot. the kind of kissing you do when you really love somebody. one thing led to another. i held onto the bars of the bed while he fucked me, slow and easy. a bed hitting the wall of an old farmhouse makes a soft knocking sound. sunday i slept in late the next morning. we both did, but then i sleep more than gary does all the time. when i woke up i could smell breakfast cooking. i dragged myself into the kitchen. “i was almost ready to come get you,” gary said. “where’s geordie?” “out working on a truck. he’s gotta drive it up to anselmo today, so we got the whole day to ourselves. what do you want to do?” i wasn’t sure. “we could start back this afternoon,” i said. “that way we wouldn’t have to drive the whole thing tomorrow.” “nah. we came here to get out of town. we might as well stay over another night.” “is that alright with geordie?” “sure. why not?” “are you sure he can put up with fags for one more day?” gary gave me a disgusted look. “don’t be that way. he’s alright with it. why do you have a problem with it?” “i don’t,” i bristled. “why do you say that?” he was patient with me. “not everybody out here hates fags, you know. and he’s got problems of his own. you shouldn’t be so hard on him. he’s going through a rough time right now.” i didn’t say anything. “you don’t understand,” he continued. “it’s only been three or four months since the breakup. he’s still not over it yet.” “have you two talked about it?” “no, not really.” “so?” he came over to me. “how do you think he feels, watching us? it might take a stretch for you to imagine it, but did you ever think he might possibly be a little jealous?” “of us?” “yeah, why not?” i must admit i hadn’t considered the possibility. “i didn’t think about that.” he kissed me. “just be nice to him, o.k.?” i said i would be. i need to be clued in every now and then. ------- we ended up doing what we always do whenever we had time to kill in the midwest. checking out the closest wal-mart. that was down in lexington. not a far drive on a sunday afternoon. “do you ever think about moving back out here?” i asked as we rolled through the nebraska countryside. gary pondered the question. “no, not really. i mean, i grew up in this kind of place. it’s kind of lost its fascination for me,” he added sarcastically. “besides—no matter what i said before—i don’t think we could live out here.” i like the way he always says ‘we’. “because we’re gay?” “yeah.” “what do gay guys do out here, anyway?” “hide. maybe some of them don’t anymore. but i did.” “i guess i don’t understand that.” “cityboy.” “it was hard for me too.” he shook his head. “yeah, i know, honey. but it’s different.” “are you glad you moved?” he smiled and took my hand. “yes.” ----- we had arranged beforehand with geordie that we would pick up some kfc and meet him back at the house. after dinner they were sitting around the kitchen table while i washed the few dishes. it kept me busy. they were still conversing about relatives and people they knew. i had learned that other people’s lives were the prime topic of conversation everywhere between denver and chicago. “guess who i ran into in town,” geordie said. “i don’t know. who?” “danny donohue.” “yeah? how is old danny?” “still the same. it’s a wonder someone ain’t shot him yet.” gary explained to me. “danny is something of a horndog. that boy works them from here all the way to the state line.” he returned to geordie. “you should be more careful who you hang around with. we don’t want him leading you down that path of sin.” geordie allowed himself a smile. “not much chance of that happening. besides, he’ll settle down one of these days.” “i don’t know,” said gary. “not everybody’s cut out for marriage.” i could feel the change in the room as soon as the words were out of his mouth, although it took me a second to catch up and understand what had happened. i looked over at geordie. his face had gone all flushed. gary was stammering. “oh, fuck, i didn’t mean that. i’m sorry, honey. i wasn’t thinking.” geordie got even redder. “never mind,” he muttered. he stared down at the table top. his hands had tightened into two fists set against each other. it wasn’t like gary to fuck up like that. he was nearly as embarrassed as geordie was. “hey, man. i’m sorry. i wasn’t thinking.” geordie was silent, but it wasn’t an easy silence. it was like he was trying hard to hold something inside. or he wanted to say something but he couldn’t. didn’t know how to. i went back to washing the dishes. i guess gary finally figured out what to say. “i know it’s been rough, man, but you’ve got to know it’s going to be different someday. i mean, look at me. i’ve been through it too. it took me a couple of times and i kept fucking up. i got real bitter about the whole thing. but then i met somebody who really wanted me. and it’s working. so don’t you give up either.” geordie could barely raise his eyes. “yeah, i guess.” gary grew thoughtful. “no, i mean it, man. i don’t know what i’d do without that guy over there. i’d given up that any man would want me. i wasn’t even trying. but he saw something in me. and he chased me, grabbed me and threw me down and banged some sense into me.” geordie chuckled a little. “and did it work?” “mostly. i must be slippin’ though, ‘cause he had to bang me again last night.” geordie got all red again, but they were both laughing now. me? i just stood there and smiled. but inside i was glowing. the bed, again we didn’t stay up much longer because we wanted to make an early start the next morning, and geordie always got up at the crack of dawn anyway. in the bedroom, gary was subdued, but i knew he was alright. i know his moods. we got into bed and kissed some. but i had something on my mind. i was curious. “why did you say that?” “what?” “that i fucked you last night. that’s not what I remember.” “do you mind?” “no. i kind of like the idea of him thinking about me fucking you.” “do you?” “yeah.” “you sick puppy.” he had a funny look on his face. “what?” i asked. “nothing . . . the other things i said were true, weren’t they?” “what things?” “you did chase me down.” he had me there. “yes. i did.” “and you did have to drag me kicking and screaming into this relationship.” “yes. i did.” “not that i’m complaining, mind you.” “i hope not.” “and you DO fuck me sometimes.” “yeah. when you’ve been good.” he gave a wicked smile. his hand slid underneath the sheet. “and have i been good?” “pretty good.” “only pretty good?” he was playing with my dick. “what are you doing?’ “what do you think i’m doing?” my dick was growing. “don’t start anything you can’t finish.” he pushed down the sheet and took my cock in his mouth. he got me hard. he kept sucking me and then he reached into the shaving kit and took out the rubbers. put one on me. he put some lube on it too. he spoke softly in my ear. “bang bang.” so i lifted his legs up and took that pretty little hole of his. i did him. he wanted it so bad. after a while i got a little more aggressive and fucked him harder. on one deep stroke the bed hit the wall like it had the night before. i eased up for a second but then he looked up at me. “can you do it?” “what?” “make it knock a little bit?” “yeah.” i shoved up into him. the bed hit the wall with a thud. “not so hard,” he said. the soft knock of metal on wood. “yeah,” he said. “keep going. easy. real easy.” i set up a slow rhythm. i got it down after the first minute and knew just how to fuck him to get the bed going. he looked up at me. “you’re so good.” “you think so?” “yeah.” “thanks.” we kept going. he closed his eyes and sighed and i kept fucking him. after a few more minutes, he looked up at me again. “do you think he can hear us?” i stopped for a second. “i don’t know. do YOU think he can?” a lazy grin crossed his face. “yeah. i think he can. i think he can hear that bed hitting the wall.” the idea turned me on. i started fucking him again. but getting a little more forceful. “you like that?” i asked. “yeah,” he moaned. “you like getting fucked.” “yeah. do me, baby.” i looked down at him. “you like the idea of him hearing you get fucked?” that funny look was on his face again. “yeah.” “yeah, me too.” i waited a second before i spoke again. “i bet you’d like his cock up your ass.” he didn’t say anything. “you hear me? i bet you’d like to get fucked by him.” gary looked up at me. oh, i know you so well. i stopped moving. “you have, haven’t you?” “what?” “you’ve fucked him.” gary watched me. he knows how i can be. my reaction to news like that can be unpredictable. “yes.” i held my breath. “when?” “a long time ago.” “when?” “when we were in high school.” i wasn’t sure what to think. gary kept talking. “but i didn’t fuck him. he fucked me.” all at once i was very aware of his ass wrapped around my cock. “what?” “i never fucked him. or blew him or did anything like that. he just fucked me.” he pushed his ass up against me. “just like you’re fucking me.” “why didn’t you tell me this before?” “i’m telling you now.” “but why didn’t you tell me before.” “i’m telling you now.” i knew he wasn’t going to change that line. “how many times?” “i don’t know. three or four.” “three? or four?” he looked up at me. “four.” “did you like it?” he looked up at me. “yeah. i liked it.” “did you?” he looked up at me. “yeah. i fuckin’ loved it.” that did it. my man knows me. “yeah?” i said. “yeah,” he said. “you know i like to get fucked.” i shoved my cock up into him. hard. he gasped. the bed hit the wall with a bang. “yeah, i know you like getting fucked. fucking whore. you like getting that hole of yours fucked.” “yeah,” he sighed. “come on, fuck me.” i plowed him some more. and i talked again. “yeah, you like getting fucked. you like getting fucked. tell me about him fucking you. does he have a big dick?” “yeah, he does,” gary groaned. “yeah?” “yeah, he’s got a big fuckin’ cock.” “how big?” “big. and thick.” “how big?” “i don’t know. eight inches maybe.” that turned me on. “yeah, i’d like to see you getting fucked with a cock like that. i’d like to see him fucking your ass.” “yeah?” “yeah. i’d like to see that fat farmboy fuck your ass. like i’m fucking your ass.” “oh, yeah. come on, fuck me.” i did. kept at him. we didn’t need to pop right away. we liked to fuck and then slow down and kiss before we went back to the other. it was during one of those moments, when we were kissing, that i heard it. gary heard it too. the creak of a floorboard. outside our door. our eyes locked instantly. “shhh,” i whispered. we stopped moving. nothing. i began fucking him again. but we were both listening. we heard it again. a floorboard in an old house. we looked at each other. “he’s out there,” i said. “i think so.” there was no way i wasn’t gonna ask. “what do you wanna do?” “i don’t know. what do YOU wanna do?” oh, hell, we both knew. i climbed off him as quietly as i could. i watched him as he walked across the bedroom very carefully. he opened the door. geordie was standing there. he was wearing a tshirt and boxers. even from where i was on the bed, i could see that he had a hardon in his shorts. one hand was down inside there, holding it. when the door swung open he jumped a little. when his eyes met gary’s, he seemed embarrassed. he muttered “sorry” and turned away. but gary reached out and held his shoulder. geordie tried to pull away, but gary leaned closer and said something. geordie looked at him. gary stood aside and geordie walked in the bedroom. he stopped at the foot of the bed. his eyes flickered at me for a moment, then dropped again. gary closed the door. as he walked past geordie his fingers lifted and brushed geordie’s side. then he came to me and got on his back again. he looked up. “put it in me.” i did. slid my cock back into his ass. i was so hard. on my first stroke the bed hit the wall again. but it wasn’t calling nobody. everybody was here. the rubbers were on the bedside table. gary stretched his arm out and grabbed them. threw them across the room to geordie. i kept fucking him until geordie was there beside the bed. i climbed off. i wanted to see this. gary hadn’t exaggerated. geordie’s dick was like a fucking torpedo. long, thick in the middle, with a smallish pink head. hell, i wanted to get my hands or mouth or ass on it too. but instead i just got out of the way. geordie climbed onto the bed. gary lifted his legs and geordie got between them and put his cock in gary’s ass. i watched them. gary let out a big groan when that thing went into him. and geordie sighed a little bit. gary kept groaning as geordie fucked him. now i could see that geordie wasn’t all fat. he had big muscular shoulders. nice tits. he had the beer belly. and that big cock of his going up my lover’s ass. i wasn’t kidding. i wanted to see gary get fucked. i got some more lube and stroked my cock. i kept the rubber on. geordie wasn’t saying anything. he had his hands on gary’s thighs and was holding them open. he kept his eyes closed most of the time, but every now and then he looked down at his dick going into gary’s ass. gary was talking. “yeah, fuck me. please. fuck my ass.” geordie kept going. the muscles in his arms flexed each time he shoved. i didn’t know what i was supposed to do. i wanted to go over and put my dick down in gary’s mouth. i wanted to lie down on the bed next to him and have geordie come over and fuck me. i knew all these things. i knew what i wanted to do, but i was scared to. i didn’t want to fuck this up. this was gary’s show. and he knows how to do stuff and he’s smarter than me. so i didn’t do anything. except reach over and hold his hand. i sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand. he had been stroking on his own dick all this time. now he looked over at me. squeezed my hand. i smiled and squeezed his hand back. geordie saw us do this and he kept fucking gary. i think maybe he picked up his pace a little bit. gary moaned and stroked his own dick some more with his free hand. i put my free hand on mine and did the same. gary talked. “come on, big guy, fuck me. come on, fuck my ass.” we did it like this for a while. at one point i thought gary might be getting ready to come. but he let go of his meat and pulled himself out from under. “wait,” he said. “i want rick to do me some more.” geordie moved off the bed and i got ready to get in place, but gary stood up too. “lay down,” he told me. i laid down on my back. he faced me and squatted over top of me and took my dick up his ass. going up and down on it. i looked over at geordie. he was watching my cock fucking gary’s ass. i saw him stroking that big cock of his while he watched. gary kissed me. he kept kissing me as he slowly eased his asshole up and down my hardon. he leaned in and whispered in my ear. “how ya doing?” “great . . .” “told you he had a big dick.” “oh, yeah.” “big fucking cock.” “big fucking cock.” “just like buddy.” i thought, ‘what are you talking about?’ then, i got it. me and gary owned three dildos. and we had given them cute names. blackie, the twins, and buddy. blackie was, well, black. the twins was a double-header. buddy was the big one. now geordie’s cock didn’t really look like buddy. except they were both big. what gary meant was . . . what me and gary did sometimes was one of us put buddy up the other’s ass and then put his own cock in too. doublefucked. see, i told you he was smarter than me. “do you think you can?” i asked. “yeah,” he said. “do you want to?” “yeah. yeah.” hey, my man, let’s go. gary looked over at geordie. “put it in.” geordie looked confused for a second, waiting for me to move out of the way. i wasn’t moving. gary told him again. “go ahead. put it in me.” gary lifted up off my cock a little bit and moved his legs around until his feet were on either side of me and his thighs were up against his chest. geordie got it. he climbed on the bed. i wasn’t sure where to put my legs, so i kept them straight out. geordie moved around, trying to figure out how to position himself. gary shifted. i shifted. geordie’s cock got closer. “work it in,” gary said. geordie moved again until he was pressing the head of his dick against gary’s asshole. usually, when me and gary did this at home, i put the dildo in and worked his asshole some with my fingers before i put my dick in. but i wasn’t about to give directions here. at least not to geordie. besides, i was thinking about his cock. up against mine. gary had his eyes closed in concentration. he was taking deep breaths. and urging geordie on. “keep pushing. come on. i can take it.” geordie kept working. i know when the head of his dick finally made it in. ‘cause gary made a noise like somebody had hit him. “go. go. go,” he said. geordie kept anxiously eyeing gary’s hole and pushing. gary made it. he took it. geordie’s cock slid in. gary made a noise like an animal. he howled. my own cock was so hard. and i could feel geordie’s thick piece of meat lying on top of it. and gary asshole like a muscle around both of us, holding us together. “come on,” gary moaned. “fuck me.” geordie started to slide in and out. i couldn’t move around much. i didn’t need to. all i had to do was keep my dick up gary’s ass. but i didn’t care. i could feel that big cock of geordie’s through two layers of rubber. gary let go then. there were noises coming out of him that made it even better. growls. whimpers. little short yelps. more growls. “yeah, come on. fuck me. i can take it.” he face was so close over me and his eyes were closed. and i could see geordie over his shoulder. his hands were on gary’s waist and he was looking down at his cock going into gary’s ass. yes. this is it, man. this is real. all of a sudden, geordie and i both slipped out. “shit,” gary said. i tried to put mine up into him again, but he held me off. “wait. let’s move.” geordie and i both waited to be told what to do. “get off the bed,” he told geordie. then he got off the bed too. “come over here,” he told me. i turned sideways. my butt was right on the edge of the mattress and my legs hung down toward the floor. gary climbed onto me the way he had been before, bent over my chest. i stuck it in him again. “spread your legs apart.” i did. “get in between,” he ordered geordie. geordie had to bend his knees a little, but not that much. there was more room for him now between my legs. he put his cock up against gary’s hole again. it didn’t take as long this time to get it all the way in. but when he did, gary made noises wilder than the last time. his body twitched forward. “are you alright?” i was worried. his eyes opened and met mine. there was a haze across him. “yeah. yeah.” he reached over and touched my cheek. “i’m alright, babe.” geordie paused. listening. gary closed his eyes again and pushed his butt down on our dicks. “i wanna get fucked.” i looked up at geordie. “do him,” i said. he nodded. he had more room to move now and shoved it in good. i could feel his cock making long slides up into gary’s ass. and up and down against my cock. i could feels his soft hairy balls hanging down on top of mine and hitting them every time he fucked. my attention went back to gary. the noises he was making. how he moved with those two dicks up his ass. i worked my hand down between his legs and found his cock. it was so hard. i had lube still on my hand. he slid in and out of it. i knew i could make him come that way. i knew we were going to make him come by fucking him. he was the only one talking. “yeah. fuck me. fuck my ass, man. fuck my ass with those two big dicks. yeah, i’m a fuckin’ man gettin’ fucked in the ass by two fuckin’ hot men. yeah. fuck me. fuck me.” geordie banged harder. grunting. lust took him over. i saw it happen. and i saw gary’s face. he still kept his eyes closed most of the time, lost in his own world, a place where he was thinking of what was getting done to him. but every now and then—every now and then—he opened his eyes and looked down at me. and then he did it one time and i could see all the way and everything inside him. gary came. he yelled and my hand was soaked in cum. it kept coming and coming. in the end, it wasn’t geordie’s big cock rubbing up against mine in gary’s ass that made me shoot. it was a river of my gary’s cum. i felt my dick throb and i let go too. i went “fuck, i’m coming” and emptied my balls. gary growled over his shoulder. “yeah, i want that cum up my ass. come on, man. let me have your cum too. fuck my ass. i want two hot loads of cum up my ass. give it to me. come on, man, give it to me.” geordie pounded hard and shoved his cock into gary. he held it in there. fell forward onto gary’s back. shouted “fuck”. gary held so very still. he was in heaven. now that i think about it, so was i. maybe so was geordie. i know—i remember—i heard the sound of the heavy tired breathing of men. the sound of release. of men. of relief. the bed, again after a few minutes, geordie lifted himself off and went back to his room without a word. not a big talker, i guess. gary and i got into bed. “how are you doing,” i asked. he was still out of breath. “i am so fucking fine,” he finally managed to get out. “that was . . .” i began. “that was what?” “that was un-fucking-believable.” he sighed. “tell me about it.” “how’s your ass?” “my ass is un-fucking-fine.” “un-fucking-fine?” he laughed. “that doesn’t make sense, does it?” “no. but i know what you mean.” he let out a long moan of pleasure. “my ass feels like it got fucked by a train.” “it did.” “oh, fuck me daddy. let’s do it again.” “jesus christ! can’t i even rest a second?” he rolled over and put his arm across me and kissed me. “wussy boy.” “fuck you.” “yeah. fuck me fuck me fuck me.” we rested for a few minutes. i don’t know what he was doing, but i was replaying the whole thing in my head. suddenly i had a thought. “what did you say?” he looked confused. “what?” “what did you say to him? after you opened the door. he looked like he was about to bolt, but you said something to him.” gary chuckled. “oh, that. ‘hey, corn’.” “what?” “‘hey, corn’.” “i don’t get it.” “the first time after he fucked me i told him that big dick of his looked like a big fat ear of white corn. it got to be our code. whenever we ended up alone together i’d say ‘hey, corn’. that meant i wanted him to fuck me.” “that’s sweet.” gary looked at me. “you know, that’s why i love you. you think something like that is sweet.” “well, it is!” “of course, you know around here it’s called cornholing sometimes.” i pretended innocence. “no, i didn’t know that. you are a veritable fountain of useful information, you know that.” “shut up.” “no, you shut up.” the road, again we left real early the next morning, ‘cause we had to make the whole trip that day. geordie stumbled out to say goodbye. it was way too early and everybody was still half-asleep, so there wasn’t much hanging in the air. he offered to make us some coffee but we said we’d get some further down the road. there’s a real peace in the morning in the country. all in the birds and the sound of an open space. and my friends the ducks quacking over to tell me goodbye. when we were ready to go, geordie walked up to me. he shook my hand this time a little more easily. he mumbled, “thanks.” “you too.” i may have wondered, ‘what are we thanking each other for?’ but—really—i knew. i got in the truck and saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets. he looked a little bit lonely or maybe he didn’t. maybe he was just sleepy. maybe it was because we were leaving and he was wearing the face you wear when people leave. but, no matter how he felt, i couldn’t resist . . . i waited until gary had started the truck and began the slow turn out of the yard. i rolled down the window as we ambled past geordie. “bye, corn!” i shouted. gary didn’t even bother to stifle his laughter. i turned around and looked out the back window. red as a fuckin’ tomato. but then i saw an easy smile spread across his face as we drove off. ------- the borrowed truck didn’t have a cd player, but we didn’t mind. it was fast. it was smooth. we flew and were content to let country stations buzz in and out in a hazy flow. clouds. we’d hit the top of a hill—a rise—and dolly would sing clear. ------- we kept driving until we got too hungry to go any further. a diner in julesburg. after we made our orders, i went to the restroom. in the stall, i checked out the graffiti. the usual stupid shit. but some poor soul had taken time. scratched across the white-painted plywood was the sad lament: ‘all the good fuckins moved to denver.’ i told gary about it when i got back out. he smiled ruefully. “i know the feeling,” he said. “when i was living in iowa i didn’t have no idea. it seemed so far away from everything. everything that was really going on. i didn’t know what i was going to do with myself. or how i was going to . . . how i was going to be gay. i didn’t know . . .” “what?” he thought. and he said to me. “about how big the world is.” i wanted to pick his spirits up again. “how do you think geordie’s doing? think he’s got over us yet?” gary laughed. “oh, it’ll take him a day or two. but he’ll be alright. well, he better be ‘cause . . .” there was a twinkle in his eye. “what?” “don’t be dense, honey. you know we’re going to have to go back in a couple of weeks to trade trucks again.” i had forgotten. oh. “oh, no!” “what?” “when i was saying goodbye. i was just trying to let geordie know i knew about the ‘corn’ thing. do you think he thought that i was asking him to fuck me?” gary grinned. “weren’t you?” “no!” gary kept grinning. “well . . .” now i was grinning. “i see,” i said. “and what do you think might possibly happen when we see him again?” “i don’t know.” “you don’t?” “no, not for sure. maybe that. something. or maybe just about anything.” i took that in. “you think so?” “yeah, maybe. i don’t see why not. if we play our cards right. it might be a slow game, but . . .” he left the thought unfinished. anything. anything. i tried to figure out what i wanted ‘anything’ to be. but, hey, like i say, i’m not the smart one. gary is. he’ll figure it out for us. ------- comments on this or my other stories to maxsprouse@earthlink.net
